...(not) so good but MIL finally returned to the Lord

Madam Wong Choy Woo, my mother-in-law was called back to the Lord on 17 May 2014. She has been at All Saints Nursing home for 7 sevens. Other than her senile dementia she had been healthy and was able to enjoy food right to the end. On the Friday, 16 May - the nursing home called to say she was running a fever and lost of appetite; the doctor suspected that she had an infection (a recurrence of one that hospitalized her a couple of months before). We decided not to send her to A&E as she would be subjected to a strange environment and test, drips, etc. So we asked the doctor to give her oral antibiotics and make her comfortable. That night around midnight the nursing home called to say that she had low blood pressure. Connie called again at 1am and they said her condition was the same.

As Connie had arranged with her sister and auntie to visit her the next day at 10am, she decided to stay with the plan. I went for my usual Saturday golf game early in the morning. At around 8.30am, the nursing home say that her pulse was weak but still breathing. As it was raining heavily and they had to wait for the aged auntie; Connie and her sister waited before proceeding to the nursing home. My MIL passed away that morning around 8.45am.

Looking back, I always remembered her cooking for her family - the deep fried meat balls that Connie like so much, the pork chop which was really nice. We were also very blessed to have stayed with her when Jonathan was born. For the first 6 months, she helped look after Jonathan with Connie. Those six months, I had hot breakfast every day before going to work and dinner ready when I got home; laundry done daily - it was a good life!

I also remembered how she would trek from her Dover Road home to NUH daily when my father in law as hospitalized there. She was quite old by then by she made it a point to be there and cooked him food and stayed all the time with him. 

Despite all the grief that she gave Connie over money issues, she was a loving and caring mother that ultimately placed her husband and children first. May she rest in peace with the Lord.

... so good to have her as my mother

This a break from the usual blog. This is a tribute to my mother, Mdm Koo Kwai Yong. The song above describes perfectly what I feel whenever I recall mother.

She was the eldest daughter of a brood of 8. Unfortunately, she was born at a time when education for girls was deemed was wasted resources. So she only had a couple of years of school before she had to stop to look after her siblings (particularly her brothers) and to help in the family printing business.

She was blessed that my father (a civil servant and considered a good catch) was attracted by her and married her. She tells of anecdotes where dad would bring her on dates and eat wanton noodles. Dad did not know her well then and ordered a plate with chill. She ate it despite not being able to take chill. That was the start of a life of devotion to her man. 

For the wedding, she made many cheong sam (long dress) as dowry. Unfortunately, Dad was a frugal man and she did not have many opportunities to wear them as they traveled mainly on buses and trams. Her married life revolved around my dad, her mother-in-law and the children. I remember when we were young and living in a single room on the second floor of a house in New Bridge Road with a shared kitchen and bathroom. She would have one kid strapped to her back whilst she chopped fire wood and cooked the meals. Indeed she did not live a life of comfort despite being married to an educated civil servant with a good pay. BUT never once did she complain then or ever.

My memories of mother includes her waking up in the dead of night to wash my feet. I had chronic athlete foot and the sole of my feet would be have lots of blisters that became painful sores. She would tenderly clean them up with warm water. 

She also taught us the importance of having integrity. She would put up with our nonsense but would not tolerate any lying or cheating. She always dressed us neatly in clean clothes (I was always one of the best dressed)  though we did not have any branded stuff. 

Until my dad's passing away, she would make sure she was home everyday to cook dinner for my dad. Not once did she travel as she would not want to leave my dad unattended. My dad has never cooked a meal or wash a dish or did laundry. That was her duty and she did it dutifully and willingly.

However after my dad passing away, she tried many things and went my places (New Zealand campervaning with me, Australia with Lai Ying, etc). She enjoyed traveling and we are amazed that she never once asked to travel with my dad. 

I remember my mother as a stoic survivor (she underwent several major surgeries late in her life and each time we were warned by the doctors that she might not make it but she did). She had a loud voice but equally loud laughter. She would love to joke and play pranks. My family gathering were centered around her telling us of our exploits when we were young or during her courtship days with father.

Mother ... thank you. As the song goes ... without you providing us a warm home, where would be; without you bringing us, who would be. We are who we are because of you. Rest in peace.

... so good for mum to be released

On 1st Oct 2012, 4am - mother was called back to the Lord at the age 90. Finally after 5 years in coma trapped in that frail body, she has been released. Of course, we will miss her and is sad that we cannot see her physical presence but we know that she is happier now. She was always a cheerful and lively person and to see her lying there for so long was even more painful.

Mother was the pillar of strength in the family - the devout wife, the loving mother, always giving not expecting anything in return. We are so blessed to have her in our lives. We thank God for you! Rest in peace... we love you.

... so good to visit the grandmas over Chinese New Year

at All Saints Home on 3rd Feb 2011

at Orange Valley on 3rd Feb 2011

... she looks so alert. Who would have guess that she has been in coma for 2.5 years. It is a good tradition to visit close relatives (at least once a year)!